Well well well, its 28th already?!

I was viewing random websites and suddenly feel like changing my blog url, to my horror, shabbies.blogspot.com was taken! GUESS WHAT?! Its some website that mocks indian advertisements, and its inactive.
Here's the link: CLICK ME

Tmr's the day i finally go for my FTT, after postponing for like 2 months. Still, i have no idea when's the time for the test, better go check it out online soon. You know, i get awfully worried for the test, no idea what type of questions will be coming out and how bad (i presumably assume its bad already) i'll fare in it.

Shabbies has got to face the fact sometimes, and not hang on to wayward dreams that are too distant to be coming true. He thinks that the world's a simply place, yet the complexity of humanity is a difficult concept to grasp. In times like this, its better to just simply let go, and hope that all comes well. When it comes to choosing friends and those to hang out with, I have no doubts that my choices are good ones, yet it is sometimes difficult to understand what they expect of you, and how you should act in front of them. Too much and they think you're an ass. Passive and they think you're emo-ing.

Shabbies is going to be a real busy guy soon, with all the driving lessons having to be packed into a short period of 40 days. With 20+ lessons to complete, do the math and it ends up with a lesson every alternate day. Coupled with my part time job at my dad's, its hard to find time to do the things that i truly want to do.

Some say time heals all wounds. Others say the sands of time will smooth out all blemishes of social relationships. Perhaps its about time i let time take over. Let the sands brush itself across the platform of all relationships. The world will be a much better place for me. I think.
Its pretty hard to identify the things that actually bug me - those that are deeply entrenched into my heart from those that are just a thing of today. Yet, the confused state of the mind never fails to combine those 2 together, making a huge mess of it. Only time will be able to differentiate them.

The 10 days in China, being out of reach, seems so joyous. I thought I could let go of everything. Escapism seems to be the easy way out for me. Yet when im back here, it all comes back now. Things that i thought i've given up on came back to me. Things that i thought were gone all returned to me. What can i do to get rid of them. What should i do?

Yup, time's the thing. A little time off perhaps.

Shabbies yacks on.

ken off.

Hey, merry xmas to all. Its been a wonderful year isn't it. HAHA.

Clearly I don't have much of a clear head right now. I'M ALL ALONE! MY BROTHER LEFT ME FOR BOSETAN. oh well, face it, you've got to be alone for the next 5 days or so.

You know, when it comes to Christmas, who can ignore everyone's dearest pal, lil old santy claus. Even though he may not even exist and Singapore has no chimney big enough to shuff his butt in, he's still a prominent figure in malls and shopping areas around this time. Not to mention his bodily figures ain't the most welcoming sight to have at the entrance of these areas. Anyone agrees? Doubt so.

You know, Christmas is not exactly the favourite time of the year, and yes it's not the first time i'm mentioning it. It really sucks badly when your mum abandons you for a mahjong game at the neighbours. HEY ITS CHRISTMAS DARN IT. But there seems to be nothing for me to do about it. My dad, oh well he's out doing his stuff. He's always a busy man, and most of the time, I never really get to see him at all even, especially during school days. But nowadays, with my holidays, i can finally have some time to go hang out with him.

My family never really had the tradition to celebrate Christmas. All my years, I've never had a Christmas tree at home. Probably the only time I've ever had Christmas was when my cousin that used to live next to me (before he became such as ass) had once and invited all of us over for Christmas. After that, I've even forgotten how a Christmas tree feels like. Well, a buddhist family never gets to celebrate Christmas. You know, for once you decide to not spend Christmas with your friends and goes home to your family, only to have them all abandon you, leaving you alone with your grandpa. HEY THAT SOUNDS GREAT DOESN'T IT. IT SOUNDS LIKE A WHOLE LOT OF FUN. YIPPEE!~~

clearly sarcasm.

Oh well, the only thing I got with me is my TV and computer, and I think i should just drown myself in self-pity, watching TV and waiting on people to pop up on msn and say hi.

hi.

Shabbies is bored.

ken off.

Merry Christmas peeps. anyway, here's like the first post after a's.

Life's been pretty hectic for me nowadays, with driving lessons and my part time job at my dad's to contemplate with, its tough to find time for myself. Oh well, here goes to holidays. I'm finding holidays pretty boring, with nothing much going on and with myself having done majority of the stuff that I've decided to do for the holidays.

With myself enlisting on the 25th Feb, it makes me wonder of the time that I've left and how am I supposed to spend it. I was told that time flies when you enjoy, and yet during the holidays, time seems to be creeping. I'm not exactly enthusiastic about NS, but listening to all the fun things that my pals had in their first weeks, it makes my heart itch.

Well, back to the less emotional stuff. China was not as bad as I thought it'll be. When I first arrived, I thought China's gonna be like the worst overseas trip I've ever been to, but hey, ITS NOT THAT BAD AFTERALL!

You guys might think that China's all that well, all rich since they're like living in a booming economy, but the truth is that, the city areas are magnificent, the rural ones, less so. In fact, the rich poor disparity is so high that according to my "distant relative" (in which I've never seen before prior to going there), a rich guy's income per month could last them like for year. In fact, it could even allow them to bring up a child all the way up till adulthood, not including university tuition fees of course.

Throughout my 10 days there, I've been to the rural-est of areas, where they merely need like 5 SGD per day to survive, to the richest of places, where 5 SGD couldn't even get you a cup of decent coffee. With my handy-dandy videocam, I took a hell lot of pictures, like close to 300 shots with nearly an hour of video. My photography skills amazes even myself. haha

Oh and I haven't mentioned about my driving lessons at all. The 1st introductory lesson made me piss in my pants. Well, I was close to doing that. You know, when the instructor says, "go ahead, do what you deem fit", you know that you're gonna get yourself in lots of shit. Lets see, the stats show that on average, i stall the car twice per lesson, all thanks to the insane amount of stalls I've had during the first few ones. Recently, lessons been pretty alright i guess, sort of got the trick to driving, but I'm still worried about reversing. This's been my deathtrap, I can't even reverse properly in games, not to mention real-life.

You know, with less viewership on my blog, it makes it all easier to type things. You no longer have to worry about, "hey what happens if who-who reads my blog and misunderstands me". All these crap go away along with viewership, and I find this a rather pleasant thing. At least I feel free-er. When one of my ex-classmates wanted to ask for my blog, I told him to go find out for himself, and miraculously he did! I'd never knew how he did it, like never ever! Oh, and hi if you're happening to be reading this post. You know who you are kiddo.

Someone told me, "A blog is like a girlfriend, you think of lots of things to say when you're away from it, and yet when you're right in front of it, you turn dumb". Sounds awfully true to me. Normally I think of what to type outside, but when I log right into blogger, I totally lose it. Well, today's an exception. All these crap's impromptu and totally off my brain. So if you do your math and divide the number of words written in this post into the number of days I've stopped writing, it seems an awfully small amount. And yet, I CAN TRULY CLAIM THAT I DO THINK OF A LOT OF THINGS TO BLOG ABOUT EVERYDAY!

Christmas eve today, and yet I don't think I'm feeling the joyous feeling yet, it seems all too fake. People merely go to Orchard Road to immense in the atmosphere, without truly understanding the spirit of Christmas, spending quality time with your family. I missed celebrating Christmas with my family last year, and hell no am I going to do the same this time around.

Oh and I truly hope that all turns well with Lyn and Aloy. They are like the closest of couples I've ever seen, and I hate to see them breakup. Besides the superficial idea that IF they happen to split, I'll lose my discount at buying computer stuff, they're like the best of cousin and future cousin-in-law one can ever dream off. May the spirit of Christmas guide them back into the arms of one another. Enjoy.

Shabbies ratters on.

Ken off.

hey, today's gonna be my 2nd attempt in typing out my entry in proper pros. I reckon that by doing so, my GP expression errors are gonna be curbed or at least improve to the slightest bit that i desperately need.

Anyway, here's my final post before A'Levels, after today, its gonna be full-fledged MIA for lil old shabs until the end of A's.

Shabbies havent been here for quite a while, so he reckons that he tells a story of his past, to makes things a lil less whiny for a change.

Shabbies walked through Orchard Road that day, was there getting some things for my cousins' and my bro's birthday. Well guess what, he was all alone. He walked past places that drove part of his memory back, the places that he had spent quality time with his group of friends, places that he emo-ed and places that he couldnt stop fooling around in. First on the list was the Goodwood Hotel, or whatever it was called. December 2008 he believed was the time where he watched caroling with a good friend, viewing the choir from the back and seeing his group of friends sing, he pretty much got left out, anyway, caroling wasn't his stuff, neither was spending christmas with friends part of his lil life. That was the year that the "true meaning" of christmas was felt.

Driving down memory lane, he went past the Duty-Free shop opposite far east plaza, the place where he once took a bus home with a friend of his, who he has become distant to after an epic day in March.

As he walked past Cineleisure, memories of his time watching dumb movies came back to him. Most recently (some may think its ages ago), Monsters Vs. Aliens was the last show he viewed there, before the times of exams stepped in.

The next significant stop in Shabbies's shopping trip (memory lane walk) was Orchard Central (He has never been to ION despite the various attempts at going there, only to fail when an alternative of Orchard Central / Cineleisure was suggested). The times exploring the new found mugging land was pretty much entrenched in his mind. The times he spent talking with his friends were insane, mugging trips turned to heart-to-heart talks after merely an hour. He hopes that this good friend of his will be able to remember the things we shared that day. keeping true to his words and letting things take their way.

Well, shabbies got his stuff in the end, the things that he needed for their birthdays.

Oh, here's to a joyous birthday all October babies (forgive me if i forget people) - 3 prominent ones are darren, lyn, and gene.

And here's a shoutout to all A'Level students this year. All the best for your coming papers and hope that yall can get to the university course of your choice.

Ken off.

shabbies did some reflecting today.. what did he do wrong?. sigh..

why did u even bother. just watch ur tv, read ur books and play ur games and surf ur net. i shldnt be doing this at all, not my problem.

perhaps im being paranoid, perhaps its just this thought of mind swirling on my mind. my thoughts about it.. forget it, i shldnt dwell on it so much, anyway, on the lighter note, i like my toys :).

oh well, ken shld go do his work now,

ken off.

Hmm.. Today's the first time I'm blogging on my new toy.. Haha I'm typing real slowly, can't stand the touch screen.. Well not entirely used to it yet.. Forgive my typos.. Haha I'm not checking wad I'm typing.. Totally dependent on the autocorrect system which doesn't actually does its job well enough I guess..

Well.. Prolly the only reason that I'm using the touch to blog is cause my lappie was sent for repairs.. Well haha I sort of feel utterly bored without my com with me.. Been relying on my touch and ps3 to view webbies.. My bro's hogging the com like since forever and refuses to let me use.. Dang.. Sometimes he pisses the crap out of u.. Gheez

well.. I dun think I've been studying much actually. Been sorting out my work actually.. And I got a really weird dream last night.. Really I think that our dreams are actually wad we think of in the day.. Now I believe in the idea of subconsciousness.. Or wadeva it is.. Haha.. I got the dream that I watched on tv.. As in I was in a similar scenario as the one I saw on the tv.. Just the characters have been substituted with people significant to me in my life.. Do not ask me who they are.. Coz the answer's pretty obvious and some I dun wish to share..

And I few days ago I received a msg from eunice2 that says that I resemble Jamie from mythbusters.. Wow. I'm not the least smart like him.. Standards are totally different can.. Come to think of it.. She's not the only one that said that I look like a particular tv personel..

Oh well.. Time to sleep now.. Feeling tired.zzz and my bro's still bugging me.. sigh

byebye
Ken off.

woah.. havent been up here for a while.. well im guessing i've been studying o.o.. nah doubt so.. perhaps i was just lazy.. yeah thats prolly it..

oh and i learnt something some time ago.. like.. DO NOT SIT ON THE LEATHER CHAIR FOR HOURS STRAIGHT.. ouch.

was figuring out why my com's gfx's lagging that badly.. been having very low FPS after like a while's work.. well actually i thought i was just having an old gfx card.. then i realised that my FPS dropped like crap for like just 10mins into the game and all the other stuff that i was doing.. yeah.. my com's getting fried.. literally.. its frying itself.. overheat.. haha.. no wonder.. well i sort of forgot to tell my bro about this point today.. so when he used my com, it shut down like 3 times coz of the safety precaution to prevent ur other parts from frying.. haha.. now i have to perma leave my wallet under the lappie to lift my com off the table.. the better ventilation helps i guess..

i shld send my com to the repairs soon.. maybe during prelims or something like that.. and i really like my new toy.. really.. its quite fun to be downloading non-stop.. like updates to the progs.. new progs and stuff like that..

well.. 1st week of prelims is like over.. and yeah it doesnt look good.. hard wor.. -.-

blah. mr and mrs smith reminds me of some topic that i was crapping about some time ago. haha just saw the trailer.. utter randomness.. and i think monkeys look weird.

alright, ken off.

alright, i finally got my itouch.. haha.. been fooling around with it ever since yest.. oh and i hate the software update.. u gotta pay 8 bucks for it.. dratsss

life's been pretty quiet without music.. i mean like every time im traveling, music's been always at my side, but with my phone jack malfunctioning, im guessing i'll have to do without music for awhile.. didnt want to get it fixed, knowing very well that the SE guys take awfully long to fix something and its always not fixed.. the prob comes back like in a few months time.. not much of a point in fixing it then.. so my dad was like.. "hey do u need an mp3?".. :)

oh well.. at least im still spending within my annual IT budget.. im not even sure how much's the budget, but yeah.. i dun spend much.

my bro broke my tarantula.

yest. i thought that i was destined not to get my itouch.. cause when i got to the apple franchaise at J8, they said they went out of stock and directed me to cine.. then when i got there, i was like.. "what?.. they closed that branch!".. wow.
then i remembered seeing one at orchard central.. the new shopping mall.. so yeah.. went there and during the journey, a car with a number plate of S1 went pass.. so yeah.. (for those who dunno, its the president's car).. the traffic police following it, is least to say, adorable.. haha

oh well.. got it at orchard central instead.. i remembered someone telling me about what the different signs of flowers on the ground represents.. well at least its still in my mind.. though who said it, i've forgotten.

oh well.. shabbies got to go do work now.. bb
ken off.

today was super short.. and i seriously think a particular teacher of mine has a screw loose in the brain.. like serious.. when she's normal, she's evil.. and when she's abnormal, she's kind and "jokey".. sigh..

today, GP was a scare-fest.. like seriously, well not like every lesson's not.. but yeah, today was scary.. i'd think that the firing squad's less fierce.. and it gets over in an instant, unlike GP which i have to endure for another 3 months.. bad bad

forgive me for being pessimistic.. but yeah.. im starting to wonder when the girls say that they'll actually maintain fb like even after we graduate... dunno.. simply by looking at the blog.. it says alot.. right after we step down.. yup 0 activity.. and yes, i am a passive guy.. waiting for it to happen.. i do not wish to be the one that is maintaining everything.. sick and tired of doing such stuff.. yes i've been doing it for years.. like ever since.. erm.. my memory permits.

lets try a paragraph without "double dots". i find it awfully difficult to do so, cause i'm need to start typing in complete sentences and not just random expressions. such random expressions do not actually fit into a paragraph without double dots. oh well, time to revert back.

its not my style of typing.. thats it.. i'd reckon that it'll somehow help my GP.. since im always critisised for my language structure and expressions.. sigh..

oh well.. ken is sleeping.
nights

hmm, shabbies just passed his basic theory driving.. lol.. to think that i actually studied so much for it.. then realised that it was simply common sense.. really.. maybe i only need the book for the signboards.. its really retarded.. why would u accelerate when ur right beside a turning truck that has to turn outwards to complete its turn.. aiya.. dumb..

hmm.. and yest. was prolly the 1st time in my life that i actually did the dishes alone... like really alone, without any help.. cause mum and dad went out, and my bro didnt feel like helping.. drats.. but hey, it wasnt that tough afterall.. not to mention i think i did a really good job at it.. haha..

and i think my mum's getting old.. this is the 1st time i actually see her this tired.. really.. its about time we start helping out with the housework.. like really help out.. and not just do it once in a while.. havent seen her acting like that before.. never really thought about her getting old.. but today.. yeah i saw it.. yup im all grown up now..

i feel slacky.. but yet, i have lots of stuff to do.. drats.. i think i need to plan my time better.. like less time sleeping during the weekends.. i never fail to snooze after my alarm rings.. like even at 10.. i snooze it.. im trying to wake up.. but i cant seem to do it.. maybe this coming weekend i'll try again.. hopefully it'll work out.. dun wanna spend so much time sleeping, and then not being able to sleep early the night later..

oh well.. i must remind myself to book adv. theory test asap.. dun wanna forget.. somehow, i have great empathy.. like huuuge amounts of it.. alright i get the point, dun have to act so in front of me..

sigh, night falls again.. and im gonna go sleep now.. nights.. *waves*

ken off.

today's the day that i get to skip lessons for personal reasons.. like the 1st time this year.. but somehow, i feel stupid skipping lessons on the shortest day of the week..

well technically, its not skipping lessons but excused cause today's the follow-up to my CMPB checkup during the june hols.. had to wake up like almost the same time as normal days, and only reaching home at like 5+.. whereas if i were at school, i'll like be home by 1.30 o.o.. zzz

took train to NUH to have my "exercise induced asthma" checked.. o.o.. i was sort of betting with my mum that i'll meet someone i know at marymount station.. cause it was like during the early morning where the RJ dudes are going school.. and expectedly, i met lao zhang.. o.o.. haha..

well.. at MMI, the test was.. erm.. retarded.. i totally hated the spirometric test.. really bad.. was panting badly already after the run and had to blow into some dumb tube.. i almost died from wheezing.. lol.. well.. the doc sort of confirmed that my test results were positive (ie. i got exercise-induced asthma).. am i supposed to be glad? that i "might" be able to be assigned to a lower pest.. or am i supposed to start panicking that i might just have an attack while exercising and gg on the floor.. haha..

then in the afternoon had to travel to national heart centre to test.. i find the people there much friendlier than the MMI guys.. maybe cause they are professionals while the MMI people are sort of assigned there.. o.o.. oh and my ECG results were ok.. so basically, i wasted my time at NHC.. reached there at 11.. had to wait until 2.35 for my appointment.. well.. had a nice nap though..

oh well.. just finished my math online quiz.. yes i know im darn late.. oops... and i scored like a 9/0.. yes 9/0, not 10.. doh.. haha..

alrighdio, time to sleep now, got sch tmr.. bb..

hey, life's been tiring.. yup.. tiring..

CTs just over, yet im still studying.. wahahaha.. got driving test coming up mah.. wad can i do?.. mug lor.. though i have this feeling ima failing it.. theory only leh..

and i realised that im everyone else's elder brother.. received this comment today from some friend.. "you really act like my bro".. yeah.. its not the 1st time.. wad's there to act?. i am an elder brother..

oh and shabbies has a whole lot of checkups to do in July.. got to retake my X-ray, cause they say the image wasnt really clear.. seriously.. next time, check before letting me go.. i dun wanna specially go to such an inaccessible place for 10 mins 0.o.. and i have to take some test to determine my "sports-induced asthma".. and my heartbeat's weird.. though i dun really understand wads the problem with it.. i swear im alright.. even other doctors say so.. all except the CMPB dudes..

oh and i just wrote a dummy's guide to using system restore for someone.. nicely done.. havent done that for a long time.. really missed the times where everything seems so simplified.. woot.

oh and im swimming tmr.. 2k shld be enuf.. -.-

alright.. ken off.

hmm.. 1 more week before the start of CTs... am i done studying?.. nope... am i anywhere near done?.. nah.. been telling myself i wanna start proper.. but cant seem to do much a day.. well tmr's the day.. told myself.. its full-fletched studying.. nth's gonna stop me.. nope..

oh well.. this morning heard from my mum that we may have a week extra holidays.. that's wad i heard.. well then checked the news.. its not an extra week.. but its that doctors are suggesting that there shld be another week for those coming back from abroad to have time for buffer.. so that there wun be communal outbreak.. lol.. its just a rumour.. not confirmed!.. gheez.. make me happy for fun..

dang.. and im having troubles sleeping.. have no idea why.. my mind just cant stop thinking about something.. its either this.. or that.. gheez.. it hurts.. :(

sigh.. really its something that really bothers me.. to think that i actually have such a day.. have such problems.. normally im the one talking to others.. well this one.. im keeping to myself.. its private.

ken off.

oh right, havent been here in awhile.. well sort of sorting out stuff these past few days.. whenever i tried to blog, then something will come up and i have to go deal with it..

life's been rather bothersome.. the lil things just keep bugging u.. haha

and i've learnt something.. finally understood the meaning of "keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer".. haha.. it's really true.. by keeping ur enemies at ur side, u get the lastest update as to what they're doing.. what they're intending to do and stuff like that.. well i may sound sinister now.. but then again, i think that its necessary..

and i also understood money laundering.. haha.. well asked my dad about it and he explained everything to me.. sounds so simple.. sigh.. haha

oh well.. helped alli in organising the picnic, though have no idea how's she doing with the girls.. got the replies from the guys though..

and now i have to fix my com.. my bro really did something bad to it.. i cant seem to access the net after extensive use of the com.. something's wrong.. maybe i shld just send it for repairs after i get into NS.. since no one's gonna use the com no more..

haiz.. im just gonna go sleep now..
ken off.

oh well, here we are waiting for haocheng to arrive.. apparently we're hoping that we've gotten the right flight no. (we guessed it, or at least deduce it from the arrival time).. flight's been delayed from 3.30 to 6.12 due to maintenance issues.. so we're just rotting.. morale WAS high, now its at an alllllllllll time low.. sucks

hmm just got david archuleta's album, its not that bad.. nono.. its good.. haha.. oh well..

and i think i brought a tat too much cash with me.. not even spending my reserves.. why did i even bother..

headphones are lifesavers, esp when ur trying to kill time.. the blasting of music at an scenic place like the airport is a nono.. not even if ur a mud.

oh well, wish me the best of luck in waiting.

ken off.

oh... shabbies is of legal age :)
lets see.. happy birthday to Joel, AhKiat, Tawan.. all those clowns that are within +/- 1 of mine :)

reflecting on my 18 years of life, thought i did a whole chunk of dumb stuff.. here's the top 10 list of what i think are the dumbest (in no order of dumbness):


1. Shabbies walked up to a bald guy and rubbed his head, calling out to dad at the same time.. then realised that i was indeed barking up the wrong tree.. the joke is, my dad isnt bald at all o.o

2. Shabbies went back to school during the SARS outbreak, mum didnt believe me when i said there wasnt school. Took bus to school and stood outside the gate, wondering what's happening... while no one turned up at all..

3. Shabbies was talking bad about someone one fine day, actually just providing my view about someone, not realising at all that he was right behind me...

4. Shabbies went up on stage one fine day to intro about MathGeniusClub during assembly (i have no idea why my math's so bad now).. totally forgotten my lines and stoned up there..

5. Shabbies joined library.

6. Shabbies went to HongKong and thought hokkien was the official language, tried communicating and turned out to be an epic failure.

7. Shabbies went to Malaysia and was at my mum's hometown.. as i was fooling around with all my cousins and while my friends were all listening to me joke as i walked around, smacked right into a table and hurt my tummy.

8. Shabbies smashed right into a lamp-post. NOT JOKING! IT HAPPENS!

9. Shabbies went fishing, threw my bait like a pro, then realised i've snapped my string without knowing and was fishing without a string, only a rod for almost an hour..

10. Shabbies played soccer and when i was retriving the ball, didnt realise there was a drain there and fell in head first, drinking up a whole lot of sewage.. nice...

oh well, that's 10 of them (FairyGodMother: psst, ur lying to urself, there're even more stupid stuff that u havent mentioned. Shabbies: gheez, must u say so?.. im trying to save myself some face here (: )

oh well, that's how shabbies spent his 18 years of life, doing stupid stuff..

haha, alright, ken off.

woah, my head's thumping... it sucks man.. im like feeling this since this morning.. haha and that happened right after my 2.4 today.. hmmm.. ouch.. it proves something, i really havent been running for a looooooong time.. haha..

anyway, today i had practice.. and its like.. im just lying there and sleeping while mslim's talking.. actually not really sleeping, but just resting there.. gheez.. it really hurts.. well hope that popping a panadol helps.. dun wanna have it while doing my work..

oh yeah, and the math test last week, did anyone say that its was easy.. PUKES..
its really bad, like really bad.. was chatting with weiqiang and gene before the test in the morning.. we were like, hey how many marks u guys intending to get.. WQ: double digit's good enough.. can pass right?... GENE: erm but the test like upon 40 leh..... WQ: oh fark.. haha..

after the test when we came out.. gave WQ a slap and we couldnt stop laughing.. well that means alot..

oh well, college day's like on sat.. and we get to perform.. i dunno if i shld be happy or not.. since we shld really like enjoy our time as part of NJChoir.. i wun be long before we're out of it.. yet im looking forward to retiring.. haha..

oh well, time to do work..

ken off.

hmmm today's mother's day.. and im like stoning at home.. haha..

how did i celebrate it?.. well we sort of went out to eat yest.. haha.. and then, we had sushi buffet :).. what can i say. i totally enjoyed my day.. and i swear my cousins and my mum has a super bad sense of direction.. when i told them i was downstairs and WILL go up and look for them, they came down and stoned at the opposite of the building.. -.-... had to search for them lol.. since they couldnt really explain where they were...

the food at the flyer's good... like real good.. and i like drank the whole jug of green tea.. it seems like that the entire restaurant, only i was drinking green tea.. and then i saw that jug in front of me dwindling like real good.. haha..

now sashimi's spammable.

alrightio.. happy mothers' day... to all mothers out there, thanks for all the care and concern that yall showered on us.. (thats sounds cornyy)

ok.. ken off.

hmmm, math test today was horrendous.. i mean seriously, when did complex numbers and all the other statistics ever appeared so hard.. never! lol... gheez could barely do them, not to mention about my horrific vectors.. yup.. its a formula for failing, no doubt about it..

today was like.. erm.. slacky i guess... havent really had to sit down and listen to any teacher yack about lessons.. GP was doing deliberation.. really nothing much... for 1 1/2 hour we just sat there and talked about the question... like with our group members.. although she still tries to act all tough and pushy about stuff... gheez.. never met anyone like her in my life..

then was math lecture test.. dang.. lets not talk about it kay? :(

then im supposed to go to the doc's for my medical letter for NS checkup.. lol.. then hor, she wanted us to take our lecture test.. she was like (this is how i inferred from her speech) "all those infidels out there, better wake up ur idea and arrange a date for u to do ur test, asap.. and when i mean asap, i mean immediately".. gheez.. barbaric behaviour indeed.

we felt totally belittled by her comments, as though we're worth nothing and merely students with no rights to our learning at all.. its a totalitarian state in her lesson..

well.. was fooling around in earth2025 when i got home.. really.. watching some nation getting whacked like a clown is so darn fun, esp if u are the country that's whacking him.. :) what can i say?.. im getting good at it..

oh and congrats NJChoir for GWH.. good job SLs..

didnt get to say to them, but here's a shoutout..
(a small writeup of my speech (: )

Thanks for all the efforts you guys put into it. The music leaders really did a good job in assisting MsLim, and to Caleb - well done pres. never could had done it without ur leadership... and to the admin comm (including me DUH).. good job in taking care of all the other random shit that were out of the music arena, really gotta thank yall for the GWH... to all the members, thanks for being such great fellas and following us in our long journey towards this great award!.. though sometimes u may yack at our practices and unreasonable demands.. but hey, the job's done right :)...

alrightdio.. time to rest.. tmr gotta mug...

ken off.

woah, syf's like 2 days away.. technically its just 1 more day, since today's ending.. bah

haha i was watching xmen on channel 5.. not too bad.. i mean its not the 1st time im watching it.. but on HD, yeah the quality shows.. haha..

did anyone say that guys cant take care of kids.. well well well.. i saw a dad that apparently did so.. didnt really thought of it as taking care of kids, but at least helping the wife at it.. a few days ago i was coming back from sch, then saw this guy kneeing down on the floor at the void deck.. im like huh?.. then realised that he was playing simon says with his 2 daughters.. omg.. he was still in his office attire leh.. wow.. at like 9 at night, so beat after coming home from work, a father is actually spending time with his 2 daughters and playing with them.. nice.. well the least to say, hopes of a family guy in the future society are running high.. haha

anyway.. i just cut my hair, and it really looks short.. perhaps its just because i havent really had such short hair in awhile.. oh well

im gonna go sleep now...
ken off.

woah, syf's like in 8 days time... am i supposed to be excited?.. haha.. oh well

today went over to VCH for dressed rehearsal.. it seems that we are sort of accustomed to the acoustics le.. but den.. we're like not understanding the songs, well thats according to ms lim..

oh well.. oh and i was watching soccer that day.. then its like spurs scored 2 against manu in the 1st half.. was like.. hopeless liao.. so im switched channels and came back like 10 mins into the 2nd half.. in which.. ronaldo converted a penalty.. o.o.. den manu ran riot.. 5-2 the final score... how exciting can a game get? haha

hirk.. and i left my bottle in school again, how many times had i done that?.. erm like.. o.o lost count.. haha..

F1 is unfair and i find it awfully uninteresting, coz braun abused a loophole in the rules of the F1.. diffusing system screwed up big time.. haha..

oh well, time to get off and complete mmy work..
ken off.

hey, today's like a dead tiring day.. think i woke up on the wrong side of bed today.. like seriously, got up and dropped dead on the couch.. have no idea wads wrong.. haha

was watching Chelsea vs Arsenal yest on the TV when i fell asleep at half time.. dang.. didnt get to watch it.. but heard from my bro (amazingly he was rushing work until like 4am).. he said that Chelsea won 2-1.. drats..

oh well.. that means ManU gets to beat Chelsea again :)

oh oh... and im dead pissed with doing bio MCQ.. genetics makes u go crazy... it sucks when u have to comb thru like 40 odd pages of notes just to dig out that 1 sentence that makes a whole lot of difference to ur answer..

and i realised that my mum's awfully nice to me.. never felt her letting me do so much things as i will and to the extent of not questioning me at all about spending another $14.50 on my ps3.. haha.. had to used her credit card.. i thought i'll pay her back the cash since i have like my own savings.. den she said "aiya, dun bother lah"... o.o... true that mother-son shldnt have anything such as "this is mine and thats urs"... but woah.. thats a change.. maybe she relinquishing the bare time we have left together before seeing me go into NS and say buehbye to my home for 2 whole years..

come to think of it.. i cant bear to walk away from this house for 3 whole months.. i mean like BMT.. wad makes u think u can get back home.. i've never left this home on my own for more that like a week.. but but.. the thought of it just... gheez..

alright... time to have my medicine.. been having this cough since like yest. night.. gotta get well before SYF.. erm no, before dry run.. yeah.

ken off.

woah, today's like dead tiring.. i have no idea why.. and i still have to drag the guys down for blazer making like on sat.. sian

oh and NS med. checkup registration's up... its like a gruesome 150min test and we have to draw like 8 tubes of blood o.o... ouch.. haha, and we're supposed to measure our own head circumference.. why am i so amused by it..

and when i got back, the cat freaked me out again, i swear its camping there for me.. it enjoys seeing me freak out and thinks its dead funny, which is not.. -.-... bloody camper!

PW's out today.. well aced it.. somehow, im not surprised at my results.. not to say that im cocky or anything of this sort, but my group's spent alot of time at it, and i seriously think we deserve our results.. but im pitying some people, they've havent got their A, not because of them not performing up to standard, but because of persistent individuals that refuse to take into the consideration of others..

anw, tmr's like steamboat at gene's.. o.o....

ok im sleeping le
ken off.

woah hoho.... april fool's day -.-.. nth much happening eh.. i dun really recalled getting pranked on at all.. haha.. oh well.. shldnt i be glad?

somehow, im feeling that i dun seem to understand people as well as i thought to be at first.. somehow, their actions buffles me... i dun really get wad they mean, or wad they intend to signal to me thru their messages.. sigh.. im losing my touch as one who has deep empathy towards others..

today's practice was none to say, normal.. life goes on even during the SYF season, and seeing other performing arts getting the results that they wanted, im starting to feel the heat of the competition.. the need to face up to the challenges and the standards of the people, the need to maintain the high standard set by our seniors with their past achievements.. eugene told me that he wants to cry on the day of the results, saying that he wishes that he'll weep tears of joy.. that brings me to another point, what happens otherwise?.. wad if we dun meet our expectations and fall below par.. wad if.. lots of "wad if"s to think about.. the consequence seems ever so daunting..

and people are misunderstanding me too.. gheez.. wads this world coming to.. wad has the ever cheerful people that i know of becoming to.. i dunno how to react to this.. sigh.. the world's changing.. i dunno.. aiyo..

sigh im off to do my stuff..
ken off.

oh well, today was pretty weird, haha..

just completed a post on FB blog.. long time havent written anything on it.. and today the auntie selling western food is damn funny.. went to get food like after school, den when i got them, the auntie was asking me, "boy have u worked in a hotel as a waiter before?".. im like huh?.. she was like, "orh.. cause u holding the cutlery like some high class waiter at some hotel".. im like haha.. lol..

and i have no idea how to treat it, as a compliment cause im like classy o.o.. or as a joke.. haha..

oh well.. haha.. and im still stuck with chem.. and that means i'll have to go and check with them again... sian..

oh well, time to go off.. snoozing
ken off.

woah woah, im like uber tired from the night hike, its not like its that tough, but im just guessing its the accumulation of fatigue from the past week of school, lets see, i slept at 12 yest, and woke up at 12 today.. woooo 12 hours of sleep, nice..

night hike was pretty fun, well if its a whee bit shorter it would have been "funner''.. haha.. approaching the end, we're like dragging our feet, super tiring know... and our feet are like protesting against this game.. haha.. but i never thought i'll say this, but well done, NJOAC. very very well done..

haha somehow i feel that we sort of cheated during night hike, first of all, we had claire as our leader, and its like she's from S06, and im with the peeps from S06, erm.. ya.. the connection's there.. haha.. and den, some part of it, we're been there, like yc shaun and i.. so we're like.. erm.. we know the way, who needs the street directory, at least at some places...

and sonia had 2 bottoms down :)... dang.. haha.. she's like the only one that fell, or at least the only one i realised that actually fell.. to think that someone else's supposed to have a worse sense of balance o.o..

im watching iRobot now.. not like i havent watched it before, but on HD, yeah its a first.. and i like the story.. haha..

oh well, i realised that maybe im just different from the norm.. haha.. i dun feel that im that close to popular culture.. hmm.. haha.. perhaps im immune to it?.. dunno wor.. i dun like korean / jap stuff, (at least not craze over them).. i dun always go visit the movies, (well dun have the urge to watch anything for a while).. i dun go for all those supposedly "fun" events.. haha.. oh well, i just dun like those, well not get engrossed in those, but i dun feel im a no-lifer..

haha ok den, ken off.

today was prolly the day that i spent the most time with my mum this year.. haha.. oops..

lets see, after sch went to AMK to meet her to get stuff for night hike tmr.. got myself a torchlight, whistle and poncho.. oh ya, and energy bars just in case we get too tired to do shit.. den went to NTUC and shop with her for stuff for dinner lol.. got ourselves a whole lot of food... biscuits, sushi, crab, chicken, etc.. den had the chicken we bought for dinner tonight :)

andand, i always get freaked out by the cat downstairs, its sooo unfair, i swear its camping for me every night.. every time i turn the corner, it'll purrrrr so damn loudly and i freak out.. and its not just once, almost every single time i get home from choir, like when im damn tired, it'll camp there and wait for my arrival, upon which it purs and i'll go "woah...".. haha..

today was dead tiring for me, like once i got home, got myself a good show and as usual, dose off halfway thru it.. and woke up shockingly like 2 hrs later, realising that i havent done any work.. oh wells.. im telling myself to sleep like at 11.30 tonight, cause i wun be sleeping again for another like 30(?) hours, drats.. im gonna miss my pillow man -.-... o.o

night hike's tmr.. well not to say that im that all excited and stuff.. but at least its something new to the mundane lifestyle that i've so grown used to... dunno why but my mum seems to be all keen in getting me to bring my laptop to m'sia for "qingming" this year.. dunno why.. maybe she's worried that we'll get bored there.. haha..

oh well, time to get back to bio, got homeostatis test tmr.. 12min 1 SQ.. -.-..

ken off.

woah, havent been up here in a month, was busy with stuff i guess... haha..

anyway, got home pretty early today, managed to catch an episode of FightQuest... not bad leh.. initially i thought its just gonna be some boring show, but hey, its taekwandoe.. haha..

note to self: never get roundhouse kicked in the head by a taekwandoe master, u dun wanna know how it feels to be KO-ed on the spot... its like this mighty build guy just fell flat on the ground, ouch..

and note to self once again: do not even engage in a fight... he's partner havent even got wacked and seem to have dislocated his knee 0.0... shows the immense pressure fighting can cause.. haha..

oh yeah, and i've been doing up my com again, aim is to make it look like a mac, without the expense of slowing it down... found macs to be dead cool ah.. well at least it looks nice.. actually, there's nothing much to a mac, except it looks nice.. and besides that, the com doesnt get virus at all.. nope, havent seen a single virus attacking macs...

dang, i've been trying to clear my supposedly "holiday homework".. haha, apparently couldnt rush it out during the hols, so oh well, guess i need to rush it out when the teachers ask for it then.. haha..

oh well, time to get back to GP, havent done it during the hols.. haha..

ken off.

woah, today had to go to J8 to get back my phone.. well its fixed.. and it got fixed earlier than i expected.. so oh wells.. no complaints.. den caleb called and wanted me to get 35 black files for choir.. with each costing at 4.20.. -.-... 35x4.20.. do ur math and u get a shit lot to pay for.. best for all, when i asked for 35 of them.. the salesgirl was like.. er.. u need to pre-order that amount.. and its gonna take awhile.. while talking, caleb called again.. and told me choir fund was close to nil -.-.. nice.. that means its gonna take awhile to claim back my $35..

yest went yishun swimming complex to swim.. well.. swam with df, alli and eunice.. and im guessing, they havent been swimming.. but its ok i guess, at least it gives me time to rest inbetween laps.. its like.. we swam 26 laps.. which is like only 1.3km.. ok ba.. but we took nearly an hour i think.. haha.. and i ended up looking like a cooked lobster / crab / prawn... blah, u get the point..

and until now, my back still hurts... but i wun peel.. i think.. many people say they'll confirm peel and it looks damn disgusting, but i dun really remember peeling anywhere, except for the occasional nose issue...

and im slowly turning white again.. sigh.. its almost impossible for me to get tanned.. o.o

oh well.. that shld be it.. and im still finding time to do up the video.. now to sleep..

ken off.

i realised that i've sort of lost the feel for choir le.. its like the choir feels totally different now.. its not the prob with additional practices, nor it is anything to do with the new members.. its just that i've seen to understand the people i know better now.. its like some people finally showed their true colours.. their ulterior motive of being in choir.. their aim of getting close to u and wanting something off u...

its a disgusting feeling..

and then im realising the fact that i dun feel as close to many people as i thought i was.. i dun have any idea why im feeling it this way, but im just feeling it.. the idea of being proved wrong and ur thoughts distorted is really weird..

im having perplexed feelings about some people.. sometimes i just dun understand their actions.. they're close to u at times.. like as though they actually treat u as some close friend.. then.. it all happens.. when u try to talk to them, they just give u some slipshot reply and not talk anymore, while they immerse themselves into their own activity, or just to talk to their so called 'closer friends'..

sometimes.. it just feels sucky to be used in some form... where u seem like a substitute for someone.. a liferaft.. when they find their boat, they're gonna throw u behind and forget about it..
forget it man.. shld just go isolate myself and not give a damn about it already.. wads the point?.

ken off.

oh well.. valentines day was pretty ok i guess.. not that there's anything to celebrate in the 1st place.. a day of friendship perhaps..

and ty eunice for the barbecue.. haha..

well, luckily didnt go to j8 today.. wun be able to make it back dry.. haha.. the rain was horrendous.. badbad.. so.. might as well pass the phone to my mum, since she said she'll be going there to get stuff.. might as well get it fixed for me.. haha..

oh ya.. have to go do stuff tmr.. sigh.. and im getting phobia of GP.. striking terror in our hearts.. we dunno how to answer her questions sometimes.. either get it wrong and get scolded.. or not answering and still get scolded.. gheez..

aiya.. have to get ready for her lesson tmr le.. tmr's like the longest day of the week.. BCME PE all lum together.. !!!

ken off.

erm today's the day when i feel damn off... really screwed... i have no idea wads wrong with me.. i just dun feel the same as the previous times in choir.. perhaps i dun enjoy it as much le.. or maybe its just because of some other apparent reason..

im sorry for wad i've done.. im sorry if i had ever bothered u or made a nuisance... perhaps its me that's pissing people off.. im sorry if i've been bothering anyone at all... my bad.. im sincerely sorry if anyone finds me irritating at times.. perhaps i shld just shut up.. it doesnt do my any good at all.. nope.. none at all..

i just find myself speaking alot lesser nowadays.. sometimes i'd rather be alone then to go out for dinner after choir or something like this.. sometimes... i just need to be alone.. actually i feel bored alone.. but i cant seem to find anything to talk about when im with others.. seriously.. if im gonna be sticking around and not say anything.. i'd rather be alone.. but then again.. i'd feel damn bored.. sigh.. its one thing or another.. basically, im screwed.

im finding respite in the weirdest of places, i feel comfort lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling.. i know that i shld be doing something constructive.. but staying i cant stop myself from doing that.. its perhaps saving me from breaking down...

i shld stop doing pointless stuff... some things just dun get anywhere.. no point in trying when no one actually bothers about it.. its pointless.. waste of time rather.. staying on my bed is still the best option...

perhaps i look ok on the outside... but deep down inside me.. the true me.. is void.. the lack of substance.. the invalidity of rational thoughts.. there're some things that are just not meant to be said.. im sorry..

sometimes.. the silent waiting is the difficult one.. when u actually have something to say but cant bring urself to doing so.. it hurts... sometimes u dun get the chance to do so.. sometimes u just cant pick the courage required for it.. sometimes.. its just wrong to say so... some things look alright from the outside.. but to me... it hurts..

a day of friendship.. nope..

perhaps im just tired.. its just me... sorry.

the lack of virtue is actually hard to accept and act out.. who wants to show the worse side of him.. one who only wants the good side is superficial, one who wants the bad side is retarded.. and the true side of one really hurts... acting nonchalent doesnt really mean anything now.. its all over..

sigh.. the invalidity of life.. the practicality of life is disgusting.. the good old times as a child is long gone.. now everyone's thinking about their future.. everyone has a agenda for doing stuff.. doesnt anyone do anything for the sake of friendship no more, for the sake of truly helping out people no more?..

its painful.

ken.

erm happy birthday all.. haha..

CNY this year seems pretty dead boring.. have no idea why.. normally i get to go visiting.. but this year like dun need to go.. since im staying with my gramps.. people come over and i didnt need to leave home at all.. and when im supposed to go my mum's sides, they seem to not be free... lol.. haha.. so basically.. stayed home and got raided at home.. my room was officially invaded by kids and have to let them watch barney on my laptop.. while me and my bro just lazed around.. lol..

oh ya.. yest. finally got my mahjong game.. as expected.. wasnt much of a challenge.. haha :).. but this depends on the players as well.. not myself.. havent really seen as much fun for awhile.. (not that my 'hangouts' nowadays aren't fun).. but just that the time u spend meeting old friends is much more cherished.. yaya... im corrrnny.. wads with that?.. haha..

and i finally met weiming.. it seems awfully long since the last time i spoke to him.. to think that we used to spend on average an hour on the phone / day before exams to just revise(?).. he seems to be building his resume pretty well now.. organising exhibitions and inviting wongkanseng along for the event.. nicely done.. just realised the actual competitiveness of people nowadays.. to wad extent people do to get their places in pretigious courses in uni.. perhaps its just me..

and i find tennis very interesting to watch... haha.. its damn fun to see people challenging the umpire and actually have a chance at winning it.. unlike soccer.. which is so.. how should i put it.. dictated by the ref.. haha..

oh well.. just watching it makes me laugh.. and tmr the J1s are coming in.. hmmm.. oh well... no comments :)

february's gonna be a short month.. not that its that short.. but a few days gonna do the trick.. well.. im off..

ken off.

woah its been a while since i've been here.. lets see.. 2 weeks?...
oh well, was sort of tired to actually blog.. 1st 2 weeks of school were pretty bad.. perhaps not used to it yet, or just purely cause i havent really slept enough.. haha..

oh and steamboat yest was damn fun.. haha.. the amount of food we bought was just nice lol.. amazing.. haha.. and i thought its not enough -.-.. perhaps its just me.. haha.. oh ya.. and and, did anyone out there got a bad tummy after steamboat.. hope not.. some of us sort of, erm, forgot the part about washing our hands before preparing food, washing the food before we start doing anything with them.. erm oops?

chinese new year's in a day, am i supposed to be all excited about it?.. partly yes and no.. the good thing about it is that i get to see all the people that i dun see often.. and the bad part?.. actually i dunno wads the bad part, just have to sort of isolate me and my bro in our room, cause we sort of dun really like to talk to them, nothing much to talk about also.. haha..

and i've concluded, never get CNY decorations like a few days before CNY, best of all get on the eve itself.. saw the same item @ Chinatown a few days back going at 5 bucks.. den today saw it at Yishun going at $1 a piece.. gheez.. economics.. sunken cost.. blahblah

actually, if u go like on the eve at late afternoon, u may get $0.50 a piece.. they're desperate to sell.. haha.. (or else they'll have to keep for 12 years -.-)

and if u watch NatGeo, u'll realise that they always interview the same people from a specific field whenever a program interviews them.. they're like the spokespeople from that field.. abit weird to see the same guy talking about space in Discovery a few days back, den seeing the same guy on NatGeo the next day.. are they like experiencing manpower shortages? haha..

today helped my mum wash the fans, aircon and cut out decor.. its like the same every year.. red packet lanturns and taels..

okok im damn tired now... should sleep.. *snooze*

ken off.

guys, the ken that u know's pretty much dead.

have no idea why but i just dun feel like talking most of the time. prolly the only time i actually speak is when im with only one other person, in groups i dun actually feel like speaking no more. this seems to happen after choir villa, have no idea why...

i seem to still be in search of my true self. who am i? the guy that jokes and talk a hell lot of bullshit to people, or the one that sits there and stone in many occasions... perhaps u can call me one with split personalities, i dun really have mood swings, just dun feel like talking at times..

when im bored i'll go swim, yup swimming's helps me to destress.. the times that i swim, alone in the pool, is when im the calmest, not thinking about anything, and transferring all stress into my strokes.. already swam twice this week... the amount of time i swim is proportional to how bored i am.. sigh..

oh and i dun really like to run... people say that running destresses, but havent when ur small thighs get really achy and stuff like that, the feeling sucks.. u wanna end the run, but ur nowhere near ur home or the starting line, right smack in the centre of nowhere, u force urself to end the run, which sucks badly. at least swimming u can like end anytime, just swim to the sides and ur done. people tell me not to push myself too hard when running then, which doesnt make much sense to me, why bother to run if u're not pushing urself.. that's no training...

havent really done work this week, neither did i really game.. have no idea wad im doing.. everyday i come home, sit at the sofa and stone, or just watch a few repeated programmes, in which i'll subsequently fall asleep and wake up for dinner.. sigh such a waste of my life..

well, im gonna go stone now..

ken off.

oh yeah! happy new year people.. its da year of da cow :) ... lets pray we have more beef this year..
pretty glad these few days.. lets see.. we have a sudden windfall.. (if u get wad i mean) and the year-end bonus this year's pretty hefty... fat fat :)

hmm lets see.. spent the countdown at gene's.. i reached there late lor.. and when i got there, the 2 of them were watching russell peters.. yeah the usual racism and the bull loads of crap are all in there.. well thats wad so fun about freedom of speech.. u dun have to take responsibility for them in the states.. lol..

den i finally showed the people there my true prowess of a gamer.. haha.. felt i did pretty good in my first attempt at lord of the rings.. despite gene failing badly in all his past attempts to play that stage.. den we had an nba game... and den the climax (?).. dynasty warriors..

PS: mikel's interested in that game and suddenly got hooked onto chinese history.. or at least the history of that 3 kingdoms era.. :)

i had to end up explaining stuff to him cuz he's pretty new to this china stuff and all those fighting doesnt really make sense to him until he gets the story.. in the end gene lent him the entire book.. the english version of course.. haha

haha had a shit lot of fun at gene's.. and i thought i helped him fix his com.. until the problem came back again the moment he rebooted the com.. lol.. yeah..

1st meal of 2009, MACS.. gheez.. does this signify something.. hope its not an unhealthy year ahead..

alrideo.. here's wishing all who bothered about new year resolutions to actually stick to them throughout the year and all the best to everyone in doing their own stuff.. nites.. *waves*

ken off.