19th February

i realised that i've sort of lost the feel for choir le.. its like the choir feels totally different now.. its not the prob with additional practices, nor it is anything to do with the new members.. its just that i've seen to understand the people i know better now.. its like some people finally showed their true colours.. their ulterior motive of being in choir.. their aim of getting close to u and wanting something off u...

its a disgusting feeling..

and then im realising the fact that i dun feel as close to many people as i thought i was.. i dun have any idea why im feeling it this way, but im just feeling it.. the idea of being proved wrong and ur thoughts distorted is really weird..

im having perplexed feelings about some people.. sometimes i just dun understand their actions.. they're close to u at times.. like as though they actually treat u as some close friend.. then.. it all happens.. when u try to talk to them, they just give u some slipshot reply and not talk anymore, while they immerse themselves into their own activity, or just to talk to their so called 'closer friends'..

sometimes.. it just feels sucky to be used in some form... where u seem like a substitute for someone.. a liferaft.. when they find their boat, they're gonna throw u behind and forget about it..
forget it man.. shld just go isolate myself and not give a damn about it already.. wads the point?.

ken off.