8th January

guys, the ken that u know's pretty much dead.

have no idea why but i just dun feel like talking most of the time. prolly the only time i actually speak is when im with only one other person, in groups i dun actually feel like speaking no more. this seems to happen after choir villa, have no idea why...

i seem to still be in search of my true self. who am i? the guy that jokes and talk a hell lot of bullshit to people, or the one that sits there and stone in many occasions... perhaps u can call me one with split personalities, i dun really have mood swings, just dun feel like talking at times..

when im bored i'll go swim, yup swimming's helps me to destress.. the times that i swim, alone in the pool, is when im the calmest, not thinking about anything, and transferring all stress into my strokes.. already swam twice this week... the amount of time i swim is proportional to how bored i am.. sigh..

oh and i dun really like to run... people say that running destresses, but havent when ur small thighs get really achy and stuff like that, the feeling sucks.. u wanna end the run, but ur nowhere near ur home or the starting line, right smack in the centre of nowhere, u force urself to end the run, which sucks badly. at least swimming u can like end anytime, just swim to the sides and ur done. people tell me not to push myself too hard when running then, which doesnt make much sense to me, why bother to run if u're not pushing urself.. that's no training...

havent really done work this week, neither did i really game.. have no idea wad im doing.. everyday i come home, sit at the sofa and stone, or just watch a few repeated programmes, in which i'll subsequently fall asleep and wake up for dinner.. sigh such a waste of my life..

well, im gonna go stone now..

ken off.